Coyote Ugly
by LiveLaughLurve3
Summary: Rachel Berry is a struggling artist in NYC who happens to stumble into the world of Coyote Ugly. Read as Rachel gets thrown out of her element, and finding herself along the way. And maybe even finding love. AU, Rating May Change!
1. Prologue: Lyric Diner

_**Disclaimer- Puh-lease. If I owned Glee Mark Salling would never, EVER have his shirt on. **_

**C o y o t e U g l y**

_Chapter One:_

New York City was not everything Rachel Berry always thought it would be. She didn't automatically get the first role she auditioned for. Hell she didn't even get to be a chorus girl in the first show she'd auditioned for. She wasn't living in a beautiful studio apartment where she could throw lavish apartments.

No, she was living in a small one bedroom shoebox of an apartment in Brooklyn with paper thin walls that made it far too easy to hear her neighbors on one side fighting at three o'clock in the morning and her neighbors on the other side fornicating at _all_ hours of the night. She was running from one open casting call to the next as she tried to get a job and being turned down for the off, off, off Broadway shoes that she was auditioning for. She was struggling to pull rent money together each month; going as far as taking cold showers and leaving the lights off pretty much twenty-four seven while she read in the dark late at night by candles and thanking god that her father's had insisted on sending her money each month.

That's how she found herself wandering around the Greenwich Village after another terrible audition. She thought she did well…until the casting director practically laughed in her face. It wasn't until she heard her stomach growl that she realized that she hadn't actually eaten since lunch the day before. Looking around she saw a sign for a place called 'Taco and Tortilla King' which looked grungy from the outside, and a café called 'Push Café' across the street that she could tell she'd never be able to afford and then she saw it. The big red letters red 'Lyric Diner' and it was like a sign. This was exactly what she needed.

Walking inside Rachel plopped herself down at the counter and dropped her head to the counter. What was she thinking? She should have listened to her father's when they tried to convince her to stay with them in Jersey and commute into the city for auditions. But no, she had to start her own life after college and live on her own. And now she hardly had the money to buy groceries.

"Hey what can I get ya?"

Rachel's head popped up from the counter to see a curly haired man standing in front of her, a stained apron over a faded Run DMC t-shirt, "Oh, ummm…just a tea thanks."

The man looked at her critically for a second before making her tea and setting it down in front of her, "Are you okay? You look like you could use someone to talk to."

"Yeah, just uh, just a hard couple of weeks."

"Honey you look like you could use a good meal. When's the last time you ate?" Rachel quickly averted her eyes, but the look on her face made it obvious that she hadn't had a good meal in a while, "Em, can you get me an order of deluxe griddle cakes and put a rush on it?"

"Will do sweetheart." Rachel looked over to where the voice was coming from to see a short redhead with large eyes buzzing around behind the counter.

Will gave Rachel a mall smile, "Thing's will get better. Don't give up hope."

As Will continued serving his costumers Rachel let herself lay her head back onto the counter, trying not to think about how she was going to pay for the food he'd apparently just ordered for her, instead listening to the sounds of the people around her.

"Two hundred dollars in tips. Each."

"Nice. You sure you wanna give this up April? I mean seriously there's no way you're gonna be able to make cash like this at law school."

Rachel shifted slightly so she could inconspicuously get a glimpse at the people having this conversation. That was a lot of money in tips and she couldn't help but wonder if these girls were strippers. They were certainly beautiful enough to be. One, April, seemed to be older than the other two, with blonde hair and long legs, her skin tan. The other two seemed to be about her age, one blond, tall and pale, the other tall, fierce looking and Latina.

"Yeah April, Santana's right. Plus there's no way things are going to be the same without you. We need you!"

"I'm gonna miss you girls too, but honestly the only reason I ever took this job was to save money for law school. It's time for me to move on Britt."

The table fell into a sad silence until _Wannabe_ by the Spice Girls came on. April's head popped up and she called over to Will for him to turn up the music as she started dancing around with Santana and Brittany, singing into a ketchup bottle as if it were a microphone.

"Here you go. Griddle cakes with a side of ham, bacon and hash browns. Eat up." Will set the food down in front of Rachel, laughing at the girls who were joking around as they danced to the nineties pop classic.

"Who are those girls?" Rachel couldn't hold in her curiosity as she watched the girls, who were obviously regulars, dancing around the diner like they owned the place.

"They're coyotes." Will handed Rachel a business card that read 'Coyote Ugly Saloon, Quinn Fabray- Manager'.

Twenty minutes later, after inhaling the delicious food Will had given her and eavesdropping some more on the coyotes a few feet away, Rachel was searching through her wallet trying to figure out how she was going to pay for her meal. She really needed to find a job.

Emma walked up in time to see Rachel searching through her wallet and smiled down at her, "It's on the house sweetie. And come back soon."

Rachel smiled at her and started her long walk home, looking down at the business card Will had given her she let a smile take over her face as an idea formed in her mind.

_A/N- This story is inspired by the movie Coyote Ugly, however it's not going to be the same plot, but there will be parallels to the movie. Let me know what you guys think. Should I keep writing it? _

"_I'm like Tinkerbell I need applause to live." – Rachel Berry. Guys, reviews are the applause of the fanfiction world give them to me guys. : )_


	2. Quinn

_**Disclaimer- Puh-lease. If I owned Glee Mark Salling would never, EVER have his shirt on. **_

**C o y o t e U g l y**

_Chapter Two:_

Rachel bit her lip as she made her way down the street, glancing between the numbers on the business card in her hand and the numbers on the buildings she was passing. She was trying desperately not to think about what she was doing mostly because she knew if she thought too much about it she would find a way to talk herself out of it.

As Rachel stood there staring up at the neon sign announcing that she'd arrived at 'Coyote Ugly Bar and Dance Saloon' she felt couldn't help but wonder whether she was making a mistake or not. Sure, she needed the money but was it really worth possibly completely humiliating herself? She didn't even know if they were actually hiring or if they already had a replacement for that April girl that she saw at the diner earlier.

"You gonna just stand there all day or are you gonna actually do whatever it is you're here to do?"

Rachel jumped at the sound of a woman's voice and her face flushed as she saw a blond woman who looked to be a few years older than her leaning against the door to the bar. She knew there was no way to feign nonchalance and pretend that she was just fascinated by the neon sign (believe her she'd run through the response in her head and it sounded damn stupid) so she figured it was now or never. It was time to suck up her pride and do what she came here to do, "I'm looking for Quinn Fabray. Is she here?"

The woman started to walk away and Rachel wasn't sure if she was being ignored or not until she picked up a case of beer and started to make her way inside throwing a casual, "Who's asking? Oh, and grab a case of beer on your way in will ya?" over her shoulder.

Rachel felt even more out of her element as she struggled with a large case of beer, stumbling into the bar after the woman, "Umm, Rachel…Rachel Berry. I'm looking for a job and I heard that you guys might be hiring."

"Yeah we might be. We also might not be. But the real question here is what makes you think you have what it takes to be a coyote 'cause the way I see it you're just a scared little girl from New Jersey looking for a way to pay your rent and you thought, 'Hey I could do that, no problem.' Thing is it takes a lot more than a pretty face to be a coyote and I don't think you've got it."

Rachel had to bite back every diva instinct inside of her that was telling her to yell at this woman asking who she thought she was telling Rachel Berry she didn't have what it took to be some kind of under-dressed bartender. She had to stop herself from cursing the woman ten ways from Sunday and telling her that they'd be lucky to have someone like her working their bar because in the end, they wouldn't be. She'd never been a bartender before and it had been made obvious to her in the last couple of weeks that she wasn't as amazing and destined for the stage as she thought she was. Plus, she needed this job and no matter how much it made her feel like she was in second grade she knew that talking back was no way to get what she wanted.

"Look are you even Quinn because the last thing I need right now is some waitress on a power trip trying to run me out of town because she's PMSing or some shit." Rachel was slightly taken aback by the boldness of her statement and she was chalking it up to a potent combination of lack of sleep and stress. She actually almost felt bad for saying it but she figured it was better than lecturing the woman on doubting whether Rachel had 'it', something she had doubted many times herself recently as she continuously got turned away audition after audition.

"Okay you know what fine I'll give you a chance. One shot. You audition here, tomorrow night. Get here around eight, that's when the crowd starts really picking up. You impress me you get a job , you don't you walk away and don't look back because you're gonna learn real fast what it takes to be a coyote and you'll learn even faster whether you've got it or not because sweetie it's not something you can learn. Bein' a coyote is in your blood and you've either got it or you don't so you better start praying you've got it."

The girl, (who Rachel was now assuming actually was Quinn) turned back to her work restocking the bar, leaving Rachel to walk back out into the street slightly dazed and incredibly confused. Did that actually just work?

XxX

Rachel eyes the long line of people waiting to get into the bar and her heart sped up just a little bit. She'd spent pretty much the entirety of last night and all day freaking out about what she was about to do. She'd even called Kurt, one of her best friends from NYU and ranted to him for about twenty minutes before she realized that she was burning daytime minutes that she couldn't afford. If tonight went well however, and the girls she'd seen at Lyric were any indication, she could burn as many daytime minutes as she wanted.

Walking towards the head of the line and ignoring the many protests that were thrown out at her from the people she passed, Rachel approached a tall (like seriously _tall_) man in a black shirt whom she assumed was one of the bars bouncers, "Whoa there, sorry miss but you're going to have to head to the back of the line."

"Sorry, I'm supposed to be working here tonight. Quinn hired me."

A smile quickly broke through the tall man's features, "Oh, you're the new girl. Yeah Quinn told me all about you. Go on in, and remember, don't let them intimidate you. Coyotes don't back down easy."

Rachel smiled her thanks at the man and his advice and she took a deep breath as she entered the club. She didn't know what to expect, all she knew was that she was in coyote territory now.

_A/N- Okay that was chapter too. This is still a lot of set up but the stories starting to get momentum so don't give up on it yet. _

_In response to MackeyPac- Quinn's probably only a few years older than Rachel. I've figured out her back story and I'm trying to find an opportunity to have her share it with Rachel but in case I can't find one or it's not until I'm way far into the story I'll give you this. She got pregnant when she was a teenager (circumstances were different than on the show. She didn't even know Finn or Puck) and her parents kicked her out. She went to live with her sister in NYC who'd already 'disgraced their family' and opened the bar (her sister would be Lil from the movie. I'm not sure if I'm going to include her). She had the baby and gave her up for adoption. Now Lil is running the Coyote Ugly bar in Las Vegas and she left Quinn in charge here. _

_I also wanted to let you guys know that Lyric Diner, as well as Push Café and Tortilla and Taco King are all real places in the city. Lyric is one of my favorite places in New York and it just seemed to fit into the story perfectly. It's also fairly close to the bar so that helped. _

_Please, please, please review. _


	3. Raspberry Sex and Absolute Suicides

_**Disclaimer- Puh-lease. If I owned Glee Mark Salling would never, EVER have his shirt on. Many ideas are borrowed from the movie Coyote Ugly and are just being borrowed by me 'cause I thought that Rachel would totally rock the hell out of that universe.**_

_Coyote Ugly___

**Chapter Three:**

Rachel could practically feel herself shaking as she navigated her way through the bar, trying to spot Quinn in the huge mass of people. It probably didn't help that she felt like the shortest person in the room, standing at only five feet two inches.

As she finally reached the front of the bar Rachel scanned the area, hoping to find a flash of honey blond hair and coming up empty, her gaze was pulled up to the Latina girl she'd seen at Lyric, her tone slightly curt and her attitude clearly visible "What can I get you?"

"Oh, umm no I'm looking for Quinn?"

"Oh you're the new girl huh?" Rachel could practically hear the laughter and the smirk dripping from her voice even as she turned away from her, "Q, your girl scout is here."

Without another word the girl walked away from her, moving on to her next costumer. "Nice to meet you too," Rachel mumbled under her breath, actively talking herself out of turning around and walking right out of the bar, knowing she desperately need the money.

"Oh good, you're here. Things are a little slow right now but they should be picking up soon."

Rachel found herself looking around the crowded bar, "Slow?"

Quinn laughed, "Oh yeah, just wait until you see us in full swing?" Rachel didn't know what to say and was saved the chance to say anything by Quinn letting off a slightly exaggerated sigh, "You gonna get back here and work or are you just gonna keep yourself parked on that stool all night?"

"Oh umm right…" Rachel stumbled behind the bar as Quinn moved in a flurry of activity, filling people's drink orders and starting to tell her what was what. She was completely lost but she tried to follow along as best she could, praying no one ordered anything too complicated because she'd never drank much and didn't know how to make most things.

"And that's about it. If you need any major help you can ask Santana or Brittany, although if I were you I'd go to Brittany first because Santana could probably snap you in half with one hand," Rachel didn't doubt for a second that what Quinn said about Santana was true. Before she gets a chance to offer this, or anything else, as a response however, Quinn is grabbing a megaphone that she hadn't noticed behind the bar before, "Hey! Hey, shut the hell up!" The place slowly quieted as everyone turned their attention to the front of the room, "I want everyone to give a big coyote welcome to our new girl," Quinn looked over at Rachel with a questioning look on her face, obviously not remembering her name until she whispered it to her, "Ray! Ray used to be the jailbait for an underground rock band until her parents got so afraid that she'd land in rehab that they sent her to the convent. She finally broke out and she's tired of being the only virgin in New York City!"

Cheers erupted throughout the bar as Quinn turned to her with a smirk, putting back the megaphone before moving towards the other end of the bar to get to work and her attention was being pulled to the customers around her, "Hey can I have four shots of Jack, two tequila, three blue Absolut and a beer?"

Feeling completely in over her head already Rachel just nodded, "Um…sure, four Jack, tw-"

"Move," Santana pushed Rachel out of the way by (not so) gently bumping her with her hips and started filling the man's order.

Feeling completely useless Rachel moved a little further down the bar determined to be able to fill the next order on her own. That is until a cocky looking guy moved forward and completely indiscreetly checked her out, his eyes focusing in on her chest before he looked back up at her, "Yeah, can I get uh, eight Raspberry Sex's?"

"Uh…sure. I'll bet that's got raspberry somewhere in it right?" Rachel meant for the question to come off as a joke, but instead it made it all the more obvious that she had no idea what she was doing.

"Here let me help you." This time it was Brittany who swept in to save her, although she was much, much more gracious about it than Santana had been. Rachel watched as she poured the shots with an expert hand, ignoring Santana as she called out to Quinn about her new girl not being able to keep up. Rachel tried to absorb as much as she could as Brittany explained how to make the drink as she went along and telling her that she might want to read up on different drinks. Once she'd given the man a tray full of perfectly made shots she turned to Rachel and shook her hand excitedly, a giant smile on her face, "I'm Brittany, the Texas tease, and that's Santana the Brooklyn Bitch. We all have our little parts to play. Gotta give the guys something to fantasize about when they go home alone at the end of the night, only I really am a tease, and Santana really is a bitch."

Quinn, who was passing by with a tray of drinks piped up without stopping in her tracks, "You gotta stop sleepin' around to be a tease Brittany honey."

Rachel was worried for a second that Brittany would be offended by Quinn's statement but instead she just let out a childish giggle, "Oh yeah, I keep forgetting that part."

Smiling, Rachel introduced herself back to Brittany, "Ray, the Jersey jail bait turned convent girl turned virgin bartender."

"Sounds good. You should fit in just fine."

"Britt get the hell back to work! Let the newbie flounder on her own for a while."

"Oh…San's probably right. Not about the floundering 'cause I'm sure you'll do just fine on your own. And if you need any help you can totally ask. Though it'd probably be smarter to ask me than it would be to ask San…right anyways if anyone orders anything complicated let me know and I'll show you how to make it."

Rachel couldn't help but smile at Brittany's sweet nature and despite its stark contrast to Santana's dark nature it helped put her at ease as she turned back towards the bar and tried her best to fill orders, learning quickly that there was more to this job than just filling beer mugs.

xXx

As it neared two thirty in the morning, the crowd in the bar slowly began to dwindle, although there were still a few groups that were taking up space and knocking back shots. Rachel was hanging back slightly and letting the other girls cover most of the people who were still coming up to the bar; she didn't want to embarrass herself any more than she had to and she knew that inevitably one of them (usually Brittany) would have to sweep in and help her fill the order anyways. This way she could watch and try to learn how to make some of the more popular drinks.

Her attention was pulled away from Brittany's skilled hands as she poured another round of Absolute Suicides for a group of slightly rowdy frat boys who, judging by the sweatshirt one of the boys was wearing went to NYU. She almost jumped when she heard Quinn's voice calling loudly across the bar, although she noted, impressed, that Brittany didn't even look up from pouring her shots.

"Well, well, well look who the cat _finally_ dragged in. It's officer Puckerman in the flesh!"

**A/N- Yeah I know, I suck. I almost didn't leave it as a cliffhanger but then I figured, hey let the kiddies suffer a little. I don't do serious cliffies often so I figured that by throwing on in there it would motivate you guys to review. This is going to be the last chapter I **_**ever**_** have to right on this computer because my new laptop will be here in a couple of hours! YAY! Still, I feel this marks the end of an era for me, so why don't you drop me a review to help get me through this hard time.**

**Oh and also, both the Raspberry Sex and Absolute Suicide are real drinks. I got them off of a website and if anyone would like the recipes I'd be happy to give them to you.**


	4. Officer Puckerman

_**Disclaimer- Puh-lease. If I owned Glee Mark Salling would never, EVER have his shirt on. **_

_Coyote Ugly_

**Chapter Four:**

It was almost two thirty in the morning when Noah Puckerman got off of work and made his way to his favorite bar in the city, not even bothering to get changed out of his uniform **(A/N: Your welcome everyone who, like me, thinks that Puck would make a sexy as hell cop!) **. Coyote Ugly was one of the first places in the city where he started to feel at home. He made friends there and he figured out what the hell he wanted to do with is life.

Nodding his head at Finn, the usual bouncer and one of his best friends, and makes his way quickly towards the bar at the front of the room, scanning it quickly he sees that Quinn's hired a new girl to replace April and he feels himself going hard just from one look at her. She's tiny, with dark hair and from what he can tell a dancer's body. He also figures it's her first night based on what she's wearing. She's not a full-fledged coyote yet but he figured if she was still there at two thirty on her first night she was well on her way to becoming one.

"Well, well, well, look who the cat _finally_ dragged in. It's officer Puckerman in the flesh!"

The sound of Quinn's voice pulled him out of his thoughts of the new girl and he quickly pulled his gaze off of her, hoping no one had noticed or found a reason to become suspicious. Before he knew it he was being bombarded by Brittany who'd quickly served her round of shots before launching herself over the bar and into his arms in a giant hug. Brittany was like a little sister to Puck, and despite her acting like it had been years since she'd last laid eyes on him, they'd actually grabbed a breakfast at Lyric diner just a few days before. Either way he had no problem pulling her into his arms and spinning her around a couple of times before putting her feet back on the ground.

By the time he puts Brittany down Quinn's already circled the bar and she gives him a quick hug while Santana just flashed him a smirk from behind the bar, "So who's the newbie?"

His gaze strayed up towards the brunette who had made her way subtly around the bar and was now watching the scene playing out before her as she perched daintily on one of the stools. His gaze was broken suddenly by Brittany pulling his arm until they were standing in front of her, "Puck this is Rachel. Tonight was her first night here."

Rachel stood up from her bar stool, holding her hand out for him to shake and he tried to ignore the tingle her soft skin caused as it brushed against his calloused fingers, "Rachel Berry." She smiled up at him and he tried to convince himself that the strange feeling in his stomach was from the burrito from a vendor in Brooklyn that one of the guys at the station had convinced him to get for dinner and not from the smooth sound of her voice and her bright smiled aimed up at him.

"Noah Puckerman but you can just call me Puck."

The look on her face at his nickname was downright comical, and he couldn't hold back his chuckle as she blushed and mumbled something along the lines that she'd just stick with calling him Noah.

"Oh, oh Puck you've gotta come tomorrow night. Rachel's gonna dance for her life."

Both Puck and Rachel's head's snapped toward Brittany, Puck's because the image of Rachel dancing on the bar, scantily clad as he knew she would be by tomorrow night made him go rock hard instantly. Rachel however had another reason, "I'm what?"

"Oh yeah, didn't I tell you? To get the job you have to perform on the bar. All the girls do it."

"Okay seriously I don't know what kind of girl you think I am but there's no way I'm getting up on that bar and taking off my clothes. I don't care how much I need money alright? I'll starve before I start stripping out of my clothes in front of pathetic, horny, skeevy guys for a buck or two. I mean seriously do you know how degrading that is? And-"

Before Rachel could continue her rant Santana cut her off, speaking directly to her for the first time all night, "Calm down Broadway. Did you hear anyone say anything about stripping? And so what if she really did want you to strip? So what if we all were strippers? You think you're so much better than us? God Q why did you have to let this prissy little uptight bitch in here?"

Santana's arms were pulled tightly across her chest and fury was blazing so brightly in her eyes that Rachel actually felt like her gaze alone would be enough to cause her to burst into flames. Puck actually felt bad for Rachel who, for her part, had her eyes downcast, embarrassed. He knew she had no idea why what she's said had sat Santana off, and that she probably hadn't meant anything by it.

"San…" Quinn shot Santana a look causing the Latina girl to roll her eyes and turn her back on the group, walking back behind the bar. Having gotten her message acrossQuinn turned back toward Rachel, "You don't have to strip, you just have to get up there and perform. You know like dance. Kinda like what Britt and San did tonight."

Rachel felt herself slowly relaxing as Quinn's words washed over her. Performing she could do. Hell, performing she could do in her sleep. It was who she was. Plus, no matter what her morals were she needed this job and when she thought she was going to have to either strip to keep it or quit she almost started crying on the spot. "Oh…umm okay sure. Yeah I can do that."

"Good. Now get out of her Broadway. Oh and you're going to be getting a bit of a makeover tomorrow because this," Quinn looked Rachel up and down with a disapproving look on her face at her slightly loose jeans and Old Navy tank top, "Is so not proper work attire. Be at Blair's in the Village at noon. I'm sending in my best fashion consultants to help you buy work clothes so don't be late."

Rachel couldn't help looking down at her outfit and blushing. She'd thought she looked cute but now that she looked over at Quinn and Brittany (avoiding looking at Santana because she didn't want to test her theory about the girls ability to make her burst into flames) she realized that cute wasn't exactly what they were going for, "Umm, right. Okay I'll be there."

As she grabbed her things from behind the bar Rachel couldn't help but glance up at Noah, smiling up at him when their eyes caught for a moment. God was he cute, "Alright see you tomorrow. Nice meeting you Noah."

Puck smirked as he watched Rachel make her way out of the bar as he took a swig of the beer that Brittany had grabbed him. As he fell into easy conversation with his girls (they were his girls whether there was anything romantic about it or not) he couldn't help but think that he couldn't wait for tomorrow to come.

**A/N- Okay I know it was short but I'm already working on the second chapter and if I made this any longer than things would flow right. I'm sorry for a the wait but I've been in Cleveland having procedures done for my RSD for the last week or so. I'm heading home tomorrow and I'll have the next chapter to Brand New Me out asap. **

**Also I just want to make a note that I'm sorry if I've offended anyone with what Rachel says about strippers. It's not intended in a mean way, I just believe that that's how Rachel would react if she were in that situation. **

**Please review, it's like crack to me. : )**


	5. Who's Noah?

_**Disclaimer- Puh-lease. If I owned Glee Mark Salling would never, EVER have his shirt on. **_

_Coyote Ugly_

**Chapter Five:**

Rachel walked down one of the side streets of the Greenwich Village that Brittany had (thankfully) texted her the night before, phone held to her ear, "I just want you to know that I hate you." Despite her completely serious tone, the voice on the other end simply burst into a fit of laughter making her frustration grow tenfold, "I'm serious Kurt. You are seriously the worst best friend right now. I really needed you to be there. You didn't see how the other girls where dressed last night. I swear one of them was only wearing lingerie!"

Her outburst only caused her best friend to laugh even harder, "Darling you know I've wanted the chance to get my hands on your wardrobe since before high school and although I'll admit you've gotten…_moderately_ better when it comes to dressing yourself I have to admit you do tend to dress a little dull. I mean you went from dressing like a ninety year old toddler to dressing like a Midwestern prepubescent soccer mom. And don't even go pulling the best friend card because not everyone has the convenience of working at night. Some of do have day jobs that we require to pay the rent."

Rachel knew he was right. She knew that dangling the makeover opportunity that he couldn't follow up on in front of his face was like dangling a carrot in front of a horse. Mean and somewhat uncalled for. Still she was miserable and it wasn't fair for her to have to suffer alone. Plus, it's what he deserved…somehow.

Faced with Rachel's silence (never a good sign in all the years he'd known her) Kurt let out another over dramatic sigh, "Calm down Diva! Thing's'll be fine. Just think of the clothes as a costume and whenever you go into work get yourself into character. Just do what that girl told you to do last night, give the guys something to go home to; even if that something isn't really you. Plus, you get to perform. Hell I bet you could even put this on your resume. I did a little research on this bar of yours and it certainly isn't a dive bar you described. It's like…famous…at least with guys who have no one to go home to except Palm-ala Hand-erson!" Rachel couldn't help but crack a smile at Kurt's crude joke. It wasn't that she necessarily found it all that amusing but simply hearing Kurt say something like that was completely amusing. It definitely wasn't something she'd picture in a million years.

"Sam teach you that one?" Rachel asked as she quickly tried to scan the numbers on the building she passed without walking into anyone.

"Yupp. Who knew dating a jock could open my eyes up to a whole new world? I'm getting a front row seat to what my dad wishes I was. I'm not even joking Rach, I made that joke to my dad when he and his new girlfriend came into the city for lunch and I think he almost started crying he was so proud."

"Don't think that just because you made me laugh by saying something that capital 'c' clashes **(1) **with who you are means you're off the hook. I still hate you and you will pay."

Kurt smiled as the diva he'd known and loved (and sometimes hated…then loved again) since middle school came back out to play. Rachel may have toned herself down but there were still times when she'd let things slip that made him remember days of diva storm out over any little thing, and occasionally on a big thing, "Okay you keep hating me but Sam and I will be there tonight regardless…with cameras ready to get some photographic documentation of Rachel Michele Berry dancing on a bar. Then you'll be kissing my pert little ass so I don't decide to upload it to youtube or send it in for our ten year reunion. Plus I want to see this sexy cop man you told me about."

Finally making it to the right street Rachel rolled her eyes, knowing that she and Kurt had the kind of connection which meant even if he couldn't physically see her gesture he probably knew she was doing it, "What about Sam?"

"Oh please honey I've dated that boy for almost two months, you think he doesn't know I look? Better yet, you think he doesn't look at the sexy, hot sweaty men at the gym or the guys he plays basketball with? In the end, Maureen said it best; every night who's in my bed?"

"Right, right, I get it. You can look but you can't touch." Glancing up at the building Rachel felt her face blanch, "Umm…Kurt I'm here I've got to go."

Laughing at Rachel's scared tone Kurt quickly bid her 'Adieu' (truly, an entire lifetime in the theater and still Rachel had moments where she thought about Kurt and thought 'Seriously, nobody's that gay!') as she made her way into the store, only just realizing that she had absolutely no idea who she was supposed to be meeting or how she would distinguish them from everyone else in the store.

Before Rachel got the chance to take out her cell phone to call Brittany and ask who the hell she was meeting she heard her name from across the store, "Look Puck, it's Rachel! Ray…over here!"

Rachel knew who the voice belonged to before she turned around. Only one person had the ability to sound so happy and bouncy no matter what she was saying and only having met her once seemed to prove enough to recognize her voice. _Brittany. _Just as she was about to turn around and meet the blond girl she realized something.

Turning on the spot she spotted Brittany who was bouncing on her toes, waving her arms back and force like she was trying to flag down a plane. And there, standing next to her was the tall figure of Noah Puckerman, this time out of uniform but still looking just as sexy in dark was jeans that hung low on his hips and a tight gray t-shirt that showed off his lovely biceps.

Smiling and waving at the girl she looked down at her phone as though she was getting a text message when in reality she was alerting Kurt to the new development in her situation.

**To: KURT**

**From: Rach***

_911. Back 2 hating u. Sexy copper is here!_

_RB*_

Slipping her phone back into her pocket she made her way over to Brittany who was already pulling clothes off the racks. Clothes that she would never pick out for herself in a million years.

"Oh Ray!" Before she knew it Brittany was throwing her arms around her shoulders and hugging her tightly, the bouncing of her body causing Rachel to bounce as well.

"Hey Britt, you didn't tell me you were the fashion consultant. And um…why's Noah here?"

"Who's Noah?" Glancing up at Noah who was standing a few feet away and had obviously heard Brittany's question she felt her face flushing.

As she glanced down at her phone which had just gone off, glad for an excuse to stop staring into Noah's beautiful green eyes she groaned at Kurt's response.

**To: Rach***

**From: KURT**

_Now that's something worth missing work 4. Txt me to let me know how it goes. _

_Good Luck!_

_K_

"Someone talking about me?" Noah was suddenly right next to her and his deep, sexy voice washed over her causing her to have to fight back a groan.

Luckily Brittany decided to answer, breaking the (sexual) tension of the moment with her…Brittany-ness, "No, Rachel was asking about some guy named Noah but I don't know who that is. Do you Puck?"

Puck could only laugh at his (very) blond friend, "That's my name Britt. Remember?" Brittany nodded though if the look on her face was any indication she was still as lost as ever. Turning his attention to Rachel he couldn't help but smirk at her, "Quinn thought it might be a good idea to get a male's point of view. She knew I had today off so she asked me to come and give my opinion."

All Rachel could think to say was "Oh…" before Brittany turned to her; a whirlwind of energy and excitement. Fleetingly the thought that this was going to be a very long day crossed Rachel's mind before Brittany started pulling more things off the racks and pushing her into the dressing room with them. Yupp, a very, very long day.

**Okay so capital 'c' clashing is a concept from the book Poseur by Rachel Mande. It's basically when someone says or does something that's the complete opposite of their personality, like Lady Gaga wearing jeans and a tank top. **

**A/N- Okay I'm sorry if this was disappointing to anyone but I really wanted to get this chapter up and I couldn't get the right feel to it. In my mind the shopping scene plays out like a mall scene from…well basically every teen movie ever created with music playing and lots of different outfits and such but that's really hard to write and I'm pretty sure if I tried it would come out like complete crap so this chapter ended up being more filler-y. On the upside Kurt was in this chapter. Yay! **

**SPOILERS- G(lee)-OMG! Did everyone see the episode tonight? Finchel makes me gag but Britney Spears makes me happy. I turned to my sister during Baby One More Time and I was like, "If I didn't already know it before it's now official I'd turn lez for Lea Michele." It's true people. And I don't care what you say, Shue performing Brit was just creepy. Oh and we know Britt's last name now! Yay! I can't wait for next week. It looks super sad but Mark Salling performing Only The Good Die Young makes me happy. Okay I'm feeling like Rachel with this rant so I'll shut up now.**

**Review or I'll slushy your grandmother. : )**


	6. All That Jazz

_**Disclaimer- Puh-lease. If I owned Glee Mark Salling would never, EVER have his shirt on. Any themes recognizable from the movie Coyote Ugly aren't mine.**_

_Coyote Ugly_

**Chapter Six:**

Rachel felt naked, which when push came to shove was ridiculous because she'd gone all through high school dressing in clothes that were once described as being 'the fantasy of a perverted Japanese business man with a very dark specific fetish'. Still, dressed in tight red leather pants, a white racer back tank top with a thick black belt over it and black cowgirl boots with pyramid studs in them Rachel felt so out of her element that the thought of going out in it had her stomach in knots as she sat on her couch trying to concentrate on going over the routine she was going to be performing in her mind.

Before Rachel had the chance to truly begin freaking out, something she could do like a pro any day of the week, she heard Kurt using his key to let himself into her apartment, ignoring the fact that when she'd given it to him she'd specified that it was only for emergencies and that his having it didn't negate the fact that he was to knock and wait for her to let him in. She was pretty sure he hadn't knocked on her apartment door once since she had that key made for him.

"Oh. My. _Gucci_!" Kurt's soprano voice rang through the apartment as Sam just laughed at his boyfriend, "Is it Halloween or was this girl able to instill a fashion sense in you that I've been trying to get you to recognize since seventh grade?" Despite Rachel's (patented) withering stare, which she shot him without a second thought as she grabbed her bag and started making her way towards the door, "No seriously, I mean it's a little more cowgirl than I would've pegged you for but if you can pull off the leather pants than you damn well should."

Rolling her eyes Rachel flipped the lights to her apartment, and made her way to the door, "Oh hey Rach don't forget your hat!" She was pretty sure that everyone who lived on her floor was able to hear her groaning at her best friend while Sam didn't even attempt to retain his laughter at the two friends antics.

**xXx**

By the time they reached the bar Rachel was doing her best to tune out her best friend by 'playing' the soundtrack from Wicked, which she'd had memorized since she was wearing a training bra, in her head. It wasn't working because she found she still had the urge to shove a sock down his throat to get him to shut the hell up. His ramblings were somehow bouncing between the fact that he couldn't believe she had finally found a fashion sense he (sort of) approved of, to the fact that she was so hot in her outfit, from the cowgirl hat all the way down to her studded boots, that he would almost go straight for her…_almost_. The only topic that he'd covered that she'd truly found amusing was when he went on for almost five blocks begging and trying to convince Sam to buy a pair of leather pants until finally Sam gave in and said he'd think about it, blushing fire engine red.

Rachel had to get to the bar early, before the evening rush started, so she could set everything up for her performance later that night, so the bar was almost empty when she, Kurt and Sam got there, bumping into Finn who was just getting there himself.

"Oh hey Rachel! Quinn let you back for a second night, she must really like you."

Rachel tried to control her facial expression at Finn's statement but she was fairly sure she looked like an idiot for a minute there because she had thought that everyone at the bar other than Brittany had merely been tolerating her. If what Finn was saying was true and Quinn really did like her than she didn't even want to think about how she would be acting if she hated her as much as Santana obviously did.

Instead of approaching Finn's confusing statement from any angle she decided to let it drop, "Oh hey I need to talk to whoever's going to be controlling the music. I've got to perform on the bar tonight and I need to set things up with my music."

Finn, being the easy going guy he was told her he'd bring her back and introduce her so she told Kurt and Sam to go get a drink and that she'd meet them by the bar before following Finn towards the back where there was an inconspicuous booth that upon closer inspection was actually fairly impressive.

They were only waiting a few seconds before a pretty, gothic Asian girl with purple streaks in her hair walked over, barely looking up from the notebook she was reading, "For the last time Finn I don't care if you can somehow blackmail Quinn into agreeing, because that _would_ be the only way short of an aneurysm she'd agree, over my dead body are we going to do an eighties rock themed night. It's just not going to happen."

Rachel had to hold back a laugh at hearing this. She hadn't thought about it but now looking at him fully Rachel could see him rocking out to classic eighties rock music, jumping in on air guitar at the right time and of course throwing in some lovely, whiplash inducing had banging.

"Oh no actually he was just showing me where I could find you. Hi I'm Rachel."

A smile spread across Tina's face as she finally looked up from her work, "Ah so you're the newbie." It wasn't a question. Apparently this bar was a little more gossipy than she'd noticed….Kurt would fit right in.

"Yeah that's me. I wanted to give you my music for tonight. I've got it all arranged and it's the only thing on the cd so all you'll really have to do is hit play."

Handing the cd over Tina smile as she saw the title of the song written in neat, swirly script on the top of the cd. This girl was definitely different from anyone who Tina had ever met working at Coyote Ugly, but she couldn't help but think that maybe she was just what they needed.

"Alright sounds good. The evening crowd will start trickling in soon so you might want to go back to Quinn's office and let her know that you're here, and if you run into Mike Chang back there will you tell him to get his ass back here?" With that Tina returned to her work, her attention fully on the notebook that was sitting in her hands.

As Rachel walked towards Quinn's office she started feeing more and more nervous about her outfit and what her boss (or at least the woman she was hoping would become her boss) would think about it. Despite her extreme self confidence, being dressed in an outfit so blatantly sext made her slightly uncomfortable.

Knocking once on Quinn's office door, which was half closed, she pushed her way into the room after Quinn told her she could come in. Inside the office Quinn was draped across the lap of a man in a wheelchair who she could only describe as being geek chic (god she'd been spending too much time with Kurt). Across from her was a tall, slightly lanky but still completely toned Asian man.

"Oh hey Broadway you're here." Rachel unconsciously cringed slightly at the nickname from the night before which had, apparently, stuck, "This is my boyfriend Artie and this is Mike Chang. Artie's a video editor, although there have been plenty of times when I've had him help me out with tech stuff here, and Mike is one of our beloved DJs."

"Only until I get into a dance company that doesn't completely suck." Quinn just laughed at him, but Rachel knew exactly what he meant. Anyone and everyone with big dreams flocked to New York and it didn't matter how good you were sometimes you just had to claw through all the crappy offers and put up with them hoping that the experience will get you just a little further than everyone else, "Okay I better get going before Tina storms in here looking for me."

After Mike left Quinn had Rachel behind the bar, the evening crown flooding in little by little. Rachel had studied the night before, memorizing different drinks and how they were made so that she wasn't quite as useless as she had been the night before. She wasn't as fancy as Brittany or Santana but she poured the drinks without spilling expensive liquor all over the top of the bar and, using Brittany's beer bottle trick, she was getting extra tips from guys who were buying her shots.

She was so in her element she didn't even notice Puck's looming figure around the bar most of the night until he walked over to where she was serving, "Jack on the rocks."

Officer Puckerman's (as she had determined to think of him in an attempt to keep distance and formality between them, although she was pretty sure it was just getting her hot because of the thought of him in a uniform) smooth, deep voice washed over her and she regained her senses just in time to save the bottle of Vodka from going crashing to the ground. With no response other than a nod Rachel tried to ignore the feeling of his eyes leaving warm trails of heat over her body as they traveled up and down the contours of her body.

As Rachel handed him his glass full of the precious amber liquid he tried to ignore the way her ass looked in her tight red leather pants (an pair he had been all for while they were shopping). This girl was sexy as hell, something he had already known but now dressed up in her 'work clothes' in front of an entire bar full of drunk and horny men he started getting a little territorial.

He wanted to say something to her. Start a conversation or anything but before he got the chance to say open his mouth and speak Quinn was coming by, Brittany hot on her heals, "Alright Broadway, you ready to prove to me that you've got what it takes to be a Coyote?"

Rachel was nervous but she didn't let it show, instead holding her head high while she grabbed her black cowboy hat from under the bar, "I was born ready."

"Yay Rachel! You're gonna rock this." Brittany, bouncy as usual, gave her a tight hug as Quinn signaled Tina and Mike in the back, lights lowering as the crowd started cheering, knowing that a performance was coming.

As soon as Rachel was standing on the top of the bar, posed with one hand in a low 'v' from her waist and the other gripping her hat, which was laying low on her head and covering a large portion of her face, she felt herself slipping into performer mode. Performing was something she'd done her entire life; she won her first pageant before she could walk or talk. This was who she was and whether she was dancing on a bar in the village or on a Broadway stage she was still a performer.

She let the beat flow through her and by the time the spot light hit her she was in the zone, snapping to the beat and swaying her hips before she started singing,

"_Five, six, seven eight…_

_Come on, Babe_

_Why don't we paint the town?_

_And All That Jazz,"_

Her routine was something she'd once used for a jazz competition, a faster version of the Broadway classic, although it was just as sexy. As the song went on Rachel proved her aptness with not only dancing but singing as well, her voice and sensual dance keeping the crowd hypnotized until the very last note rang out and the lights fell, Rachel sitting on the bar, one leg crossed over the other and her cowgirl hat sitting over her face once again.

Once the lights came back on the adrenaline from performing rushed through her veins. Hopping off the bar she through a hug around Kurt's shoulders before Brittany hopped over the bar and grabbed her, the blond girls bouncing becoming contagious.

Quinn smirked from next to the bouncing duo, "Welcome to the Coyotes, Broadway."

**A/N- Okay so here it is. I've had Rachel's performance in my head since I started writing this and I'm very disappointed in myself because I know I didn't do it the justice it deserved. I'm a Broadway girl (like I could seriously give Rachel a run for her money) but while writing this this I learned that getting that dance from my head onto the page turned out to be impossible. Regardless I hope you guys got the idea of what I wanted this to be. **

**There's a line to Rachel's outfit on my profile!**

**I'm not cemented down with my pairings so far but it'll be Puckelberry (obviously), Kam, and Quartie. I've been bouncing back and forth with the others but it'll either be Britt/Mike or Tine/Mike and it'll probably be Finntana. **

**Let me know what you guys think!**

**Em **


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